Life is cruising along at a good speed and all of sudden you hit a speed bump! You immediately slow down and proceed with caution looking for the next one. If you miss the speed bump caution sign or ignore it and hit a speed bump at top speed, it can do some serious damage to the undercarriage of your car as well as your spine and inner organs. It gets your attention!
I hit a major speed bump a few weeks ago. I was moving through life in high gear, when my lower back and hip decided to go on strike, bringing everything to a screeching halt and forcing me to lie flat on my back, or stomach to ice my back. (Thus, why there was no blog post last week because it’s impossible to type on a laptop lying flat on your back.) I missed the “caution sign,” and was caught totally off guard.
He told me that there had been numerous caution signs with a low-grade persistent ache in my lower spine and hip for over a year. Being so focused on trying to lose the stubborn fifteen pounds that have attached themselves to my body these past two years with cancer treatment and hormone imbalances, I pushed myself ignoring the warning signs. He explained that the speed bumps are a protective thing. They are there to get our attention and slow us down, usually in an area where there are things that need to be guarded, thus move through it slowly with alertness and caution. We can choose to ignore them, whine about them, or pay attention and learn from them.
I did all three. After ignoring them and ending up flat on my back, then whining about it for a few days, one week of no activity turned into two, and I was quickly losing my patience with this major “inconvenience” in my life. While in this prolonged, incapacitated prone position, staring at the ceiling, I had lots of time to ponder and pray. Believing that God allows certain things into our lives at specific times for a purpose, as well as there are often spiritual and emotional roots to physical issues; I asked Him, “Lord, why the speed bump right now? What are you trying to show me or teach me in this situation?”
It was then He took me deeper. He revealed a root in my life that needed attention and extraction. Fear. This root went deep because I thought I had been set free from it when I went through my breast cancer journey two years ago. But the Lord showed me that there was still a stronghold of fear in the area of provision. A lie, the enemy, kept bombarding me with was, “Your physical issues are going to drive your family to financial ruin.” (In not physically being able to work, having some potential expensive dental needs, or if the cancer comes back.)
The Lord spoke into my spirit saying, “Remember the Israelites wandering around in the desert for 40 years and how I provided manna for them to eat EVERY DAY, but if they tried to store some up to be sure they had enough for the next day, it went bad? (Exodus 16:13-21) That is what you are doing. You are trying to get a part-time job or look for ways to make more money to be sure you have enough for future necessities, along with believing it is your fault if there is not enough because you cannot work, or you have physical issues. I want you to trust ME to provide for every need, every day. Look back. Haven’t I provided for you, your family, and ministry these past years? Am I not providing for your physical needs and treatment right now? Is worrying or trying to “fix it” changing the situation? My dear daughter, I LOVE YOU and want you to be free of this fear. I AM YOUR PROVIDER, and you can rest in that alone. I can provide for you in any way I choose and know best. I want you to be dependent on ME and Me alone. THAT IS HOW YOU WILL BE SET FREE FROM FEAR! Keep your eyes on Me and delight in Me. You are allowing the fear to rob you of the joy in our relationship.”
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:17-19
WOW! The depth of His love for me blows me away! The speed bump is His way of perfecting me in love. First He makes sure I am in a position to do NOTHING, gets my attention and shows me that He wants to set me totally free from these lies and fears. As I then repent of the sin of fear (lack of trust) and replace it with Holy Spirit faith, healing and liberty begins. Thereupon I am able to freely and joyfully love Him, others and myself. Only God could use speed bumps like this!
So, as I heedfully navigate my way through this, I’m strapping on my back brace, proceeding with caution, and keeping my focus on the Lord!
For His glory,